Having Your Cake and Smashes Too

This weekend, while coming home from a weekend trip to Connecticut, my “date” received a phone call from a friend who apparently got himself in a situation that involved passion marks that didn’t come from his live-in girlfriend. I listened while my “date” gave his friend advice on how to handle his “issue.” Other than realize that our relationship was over before we even returned to Philly, I wondered, what ever happened to open relationships.

*Side bar – Just so you know, I probably could have handled the fact that my “date” seemed to have the “Lying and Cheating Manual” memorized, but during our weekend getaway I also found out that he doesn’t like The Boondocks! I know!!!

I asked my “date” this question and he gave three very good reasons open relationships won’t work (yes, I’m being sarcastic). The first: Every man should have a main girl. Unfortunately, your main girl won’t be everything you need, sexually, but she doesn’t need to know that. The second: Your main girl is the girl that you want to be with. The other girls are just “smashes.” The third: your main girl won’t tolerate you being with other girls (the nerve!) and therefore, you have no choice but to cheat. So to summarize, open relationships are a thing of the past because there are too many smashes out there that smash differently and because your girl is petty and don’t want you smashing the smashes, you cheat. That makes sense (again, I’m being sarcastic and trust me, I was wondering why he was there too!).

So, are open relationships becoming an endangered species, while cheating is the new monogamous? I think it’s a great thing when you can date more than one person at a time and not worried about lying or playing games. Sure we all ultimately want something long-term and stable, but until then, is it so bad to play the field?

Or perhaps, dare I say, it’s because both men and women are driven by the same emotions, which keep them from having an effective open relationship. In most cases, neither men nor women can accept the fact that their guy or girl is someone else’s guy or girl. Although men and women may deal with this emotion differently, they both hate the idea of sharing. So what do you do when you have a classic case of having your cake and wanting ice cream with whip cream too. You cheat. Is this what dating has come to?

*Side bar - YES, I changed the “having your cake and eating it too” saying…it’s a stupid saying. What the hell would you get cake for if you couldn’t eat it! Now “having your cake and wanting ice cream too” works better. The whip cream was just the result of my wondering mind.