Sunday, August 2, 2009

WANTED: A Good Healthy Relationship; No Ring Required

I’m looking forward to listening to this radio talk show with the ladies of the Pink Suite this Tuesday. Their topic is “Put a Ring on It or Not.” I’m excited because for the first time I’m hearing a discussion on a topic that I’ve been proclaiming for years. The fact of the matter is I’m just not that concerned with getting married.

I know, *gasp*, but it’s the truth. In most cases, when we get married we do it for a particular reason. It could be for religious reasons, it could be for money, or it could be because your daddy had that shot gun pressed against your future hubby’s back because of the bun in the oven that no one knows about yet. And let’s be real, it’s not love because you generally should have that before you get married – generally. Whatever the reason, it was that which guided you down the holy matrimony of wedded bliss.

I, on the other hand, don’t have a reason. When I tell people that I don’t want to get married, especially my fellow gal pals, it’s blasphemy! They all say the same thing “when the right guy comes along you will want to get married”, to which I reply, “no, that’s not it.”

Side barthat comment irritates the hell out of me! How the hell do you know I’m not with the “right guy” now, and who the hell are you to tell me that he’s not the right guy – YOU DON’T KNOW HIM!

Now, just so you know, this is not coming from the perspective of a girl that’s bitter because she feels like there are no good men out there.

Side bar - I’m knocking those girls because their experiences led them to this reality. I’m just not that girl.

Yes, I’ve dated some interesting characters but in my opinion they made for good story telling during girl’s night! More importantly, I’m currently with a guy that is simply golden! Let me tell you – I am head over heels in love with this man—open wide, like bowels after collard greens! And this is not that new love, we are approaching our one year anniversary, and for those that know me knows that this is a feat in itself.

Yet, I am still not pressed to get married.

It all boils down to this: In an age where people are already bringing a house, children, money, and success to the table of love, does this compromise the need for marriage? I mean really, what’s wrong with shacking up! Isn’t it possible to have a good healthy relationship without marriage?

Or, is it a social faux pas for couples to introduce themselves as “boyfriend and girlfriend” even after being together for years?