Can’t Blame ‘Em for Trying

I’m over him, I am. I made it perfectly clear that there will be no more us. I haven’t called him in almost a year. So please tell me why I come home one morning to hear that nigra’s voice on my answering machine.

So we’ve all been there right? That guy who broke our heart and we thought that it was just the worse thing ever. Then, years go by and you look back and thank God for getting you out of that relationship. Well my guy decided to give me a call not only at home but the nigra calls me at work too. I KNOWWWWW!!!!!!! Here’s how it went down.

“This is Blake”
“What’s up Blake?”
“Hello!!”
“What’s up?”
“Oh…hey, what’s up?”
“How you been?”
“I’m well. How are you?” (See I said well and not good…let him know he missed out on an educated girl-with benefits might I add!)
“Pretty good” (see, he said good…ignorant ass!) “I called you at your house and left a message. Did you get it?”
“No.”
“Well I just said I was thinking about you. I’m always thinking about you.”
(Ok, I can’t lie…I cheesed a little) “Aww, that’s nice. So how are the kids?”
“They’re good”
“Let’s see, when we were together you had two…right?”
“Hahahahaha…yeah.”
“Any since?”
“Nope. How’s your kids?”
“They're great. Still the same two I had before we met.”
“Hahahahaha…you real smart.”
“So…how’s Pamela? I haven’t received any threatening calls from her in a while so I’m guessing things are good.”
“We not together anymore.”
“You broke up???!!! Again???”
“Yup.”
(At this point he’s not getting the picture and it’s lunch time so…) “Well it was good talking to you but I have to meet my boyfriend for lunch in about five minutes. Take care ok!”
“Boyfriend?”
“hahahaha…yeah…talk to you later.”
“Yeah alright.”

Ok…so we all know I don’t have a boyfriend…so what!!! That’s none of his damn business.

My question is do men realize how disrespectful they are when they try this? We all know what he wanted and it wasn’t to tell me that he was thinking about me. Parts of me-yes. Me in general-no. So why do men try? Can we blame them for trying? Should I be mad that he even thought for one second that he could run game on moi. Should I feel disrespected like I’m that dumb. Didn’t he here me say I’m well! He should have stopped there. What do you think?

The L-M-N-O-P-word

Hey Girlfriends! I’m trying to understand why there is so much controversy behind the use of the N-word, when there are worst images and messages that are socially acceptable and surround us everyday. I thought about this today when I was hearing about Nas’ mix tape entitled The Ni**er Tape. I mean, OK, I get that N-word has racial implications that belittles the Black community, but you don’t need Nas to tell you that, just turn on your radio or look at BET. Everyday songs are played on the radio that demeans the Black community by either promoting a false reality of how men should behave, or showing females in negative roles. Maybe I’m overreacting. Let’s take a moment to analyze some of the songs that are played on heavy rotation at local Hip Hop and R&B radio stations:

The Dream – I Love Your Girl
And she runnin' Fingers through her hair, tryin ta call her over there but she like, F**k! That nigga!She drop it down to the floor, I'm sayin shorty you should go, and she like F**k! That nigga!Call it in B, I want her on me, all up in my head, now she in my bed,I, IIIIII, III

Nothing promotes building strong, positive, Black relationship more than leaving your man in the club for a guy that you just met. Ok, forget this. Let’s look at another song.

Soulja Boy – Donk
She Got Donk,Watch It Hit Da Floor,I Like The Way She Move And Da Way She Snap And Roll, Yea Its Goin Down,I Got 5 Thousands Ones,Me, You, And You (You!),We Bout To Have Fun!, Now Gone Make It Clap,Dat Right Dere,Sippin On Some Dat Match My Shirt, I Like Her, Her, Her, Her, And Her,I Want Dem To Do Dat Over Her!! (Over Her!!!)

??????????????????...Next!

2 Pistols f/ T-Pain – She Got It
Young boss baby i treat cha' treat cha' to the finer thingsNeck bling, wrist bling, wedding ring, nah im playinMight light you neck or wristBut cha got a right nice dicket?,ughTake trips with the ???She got it (she got it) She got it (She Got It) thats what Pain sayinThem other niggas lame man, lil mamma i got the game plan2 pistols, me and you boss i make it happen while they talkRidin 6's while they walk

Well at least it doesn’t have the N- word in it, and hey, how else is a girl supposed to get her neck or wrist lit. Ok, one more.

Plies f/ Neyo – Bust It Baby 2
Like your sex but more love what cha do Turn me on how you stare at me when we through When you give it to me, i don't wanna turn ya loose Scared to moan around you, all i can say is "Ooh" My favorite panties of yours the ones that see-through One wit the pink trim on 'em and they light blue Speakin' for the goons, thank god for makin' you BUST IT BABY is what i call you

The song did say the he likes what she does more than he likes her sex. I mean it continued to talk about the sex, but he was just making a point. He really does like her personality.

So why is this acceptable, and the N-word not acceptable? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not advocating the use of the N-word, but there are images and messages dressed up in hot beats and fancy clothes that creep its way into our community every day. These images cause just as much harm as a racist carrying a burning cross would. Perhaps we should make a fuss over this the same way we make a fuss over the use of the N-word. If in the end we chose to allow this type of culture to remain in our midst, than we are all a bunch of Ni**as living in ignorant bliss, because a Ni**a by another name is still a Ni**a.

Under Attack!

I hate to start off my Blog like this but there is something that I must get off my chest. Girlfriends, we have dealt with many things when it came to our men; from baby momma drama, to watching out for those shady undercover brothers. But we are faced with yet another social manifestation that is affecting our relationships with our men-Porn!....

I know, I know! “What’s wrong with porn” you ask? And up until a few nights ago I would have asked the same question. But porn ruined my relationship ladies! I’m serious! Although the bedrooms escapades were fun it lacked intimacy. Sure “Naughty Girl Friday” was entertaining and exciting, but “Sweet and Sensual Sundays” were anything but! I couldn’t figure it out. How could you be so good in one area, but so lost in another? That’s when it hit me! He had to learn about sex from watching porn! It’s the only logical answer, isn’t it? Think about it. How many porn movies have you seen where the guy is tending to the girl's needs and wants in a caring and compassionate manner? I'll wait…EXACTLY!

And Girlfriends, you know intimacy is of course something that cannot be compromised, so I was forced to end what could have otherwise been a pretty good relationship. OK, so with my track record that equates to about a good four months, but still!!! What if the next guy is infected with the same illness!!!

Can any of my Girlfriends relate? Feedback please!