Sunday, May 24, 2009

The Real Mr. Right

Every now and then I’ll get a request to write on a topic that seems to be heavy on some of my readers mind. More recently a few of them were going through men issues and, finally, one of them posed this question: Why is it so hard to find a good man?

I know. This is so typical for a girl-related blog, but let’s be real - it’s definitely a question on many of our minds. Now I have my own theory on this but would love to hear your feedback.

My theory you ask? Well, I strongly believe that a good man is not hard to find at all. He’s usually standing right next to a good woman. What I’m saying is often times, both men and women will accept and overlook not so great qualities in other people because we ourselves have certain issues that we have yet to address. In other words, who and what we are will determine the type of person we decide to welcome into our lives. In addition, it will also decide how we will allow that person to impact and influence our lives.

Now we all know that there is no such thing as perfect, but we also know we accept things that we have no business accepting. For example, the guy that has a good personality, handsome, and educated, but lacks that perfect credit, may be someone to consider keeping around for a while. After all, credit scores can be repaired. However, that guy who has a nice personality, handsome, and a baby mom that for some reason believes they are still together, which was apparent when she called your phone and asked you why you were calling her boyfriend, may not be the one to keep around. However, for some reason we believe we can repair him as if he was a credit score, and before we know it, two years and two new babies by the baby mom later we are wondering why it’s so hard to find a good man.

I’m just sayin’. It’s not like this has ever happened to me.

At any rate, it was something within ourselves that made us accept that, and it’s that something that I’m suggesting we address in order to make room for Mr. Right.

Is that to say that once you address and resolve those issues then Mr. Right will come floating across the room like Gina did on that episode of Martin (LOL, remember that episode when Martin and Gina was describing when they met - “Can you dig it baby” HAHAHAHAHA *eh hem* ).

No, it’s not to say that at all. However, you will be able to confidently decide that there are some things you will just not accept. You will be able to see that Mr. Potential Right is indeed Mr. Wrong and get him out of there to make room for the real Mr. Right.

But that’s just what little ole me thinks…

4 comments:

Solomon said...

LMAO @ nice personality, handsome, and a baby mom that still thinks they are together, AND she just called your phone... Bwahahahaha!

That's about it isn't it, and the same goes both ways, for guys looking for a good gal, and believe me, I've done enough settlin' for 5 lifetimes.

I've offically jumped off that train, no more settlin, if I have to stay single for 5 more years, that's OK, it just ain't about taking the first one that comes along. {trust me on this one, it don't work}

It is tough though, seems every time I run into one that's a potential keeper, and there seems to be a little vibe going on between us, without fail, out comes the line no one wants to hear, "Sorry, I'd love to go put with you, but I'm in a relationship already." Ouch!

All I can do is keep on keepin on, and keep the eyes and ears open for a potential match.

Hey Girlfriend! said...

LOL, I think many of us can attest to the 5 lifetime settling! Well you know what they say, when you stop looking is when you'll find that Mrs. Right. So plan B: close your eyes and ears, and open your mind and heart!

♥ CG ♥ said...

Girl, girl, girl! I've had this convo a million times, but over time, my friends and I have been forced to face reality....the perfect guy doesn't exist. I'll have to borrow this "for some reason we believe we can repair him as if he was a credit score"...lol. It's so true. I've started thinking about some things I would've done differently in the past given what I know now. The main thing I would redo is give the nice guys a chance instead of seeing it as a weakness...talk about naive. Great post.

Hey Girlfriend! said...

Hey Curves! LOL...we do don't we (try to fix our "broken" men). Very good point about giving the nice guys a chance. I'd like to go a step further and say that we should open up and date outside of our box. You'd be amazed at what wonderful things exist when those barriers are removed.