I’m looking forward to listening to this radio talk show with the ladies of the Pink Suite this Tuesday. Their topic is “Put a Ring on It or Not.” I’m excited because for the first time I’m hearing a discussion on a topic that I’ve been proclaiming for years. The fact of the matter is I’m just not that concerned with getting married.
I know, *gasp*, but it’s the truth. In most cases, when we get married we do it for a particular reason. It could be for religious reasons, it could be for money, or it could be because your daddy had that shot gun pressed against your future hubby’s back because of the bun in the oven that no one knows about yet. And let’s be real, it’s not love because you generally should have that before you get married – generally. Whatever the reason, it was that which guided you down the holy matrimony of wedded bliss.
I, on the other hand, don’t have a reason. When I tell people that I don’t want to get married, especially my fellow gal pals, it’s blasphemy! They all say the same thing “when the right guy comes along you will want to get married”, to which I reply, “no, that’s not it.”
Side bar – that comment irritates the hell out of me! How the hell do you know I’m not with the “right guy” now, and who the hell are you to tell me that he’s not the right guy – YOU DON’T KNOW HIM!
Now, just so you know, this is not coming from the perspective of a girl that’s bitter because she feels like there are no good men out there.
Side bar - I’m knocking those girls because their experiences led them to this reality. I’m just not that girl.
Yes, I’ve dated some interesting characters but in my opinion they made for good story telling during girl’s night! More importantly, I’m currently with a guy that is simply golden! Let me tell you – I am head over heels in love with this man—open wide, like bowels after collard greens! And this is not that new love, we are approaching our one year anniversary, and for those that know me knows that this is a feat in itself.
Yet, I am still not pressed to get married.
It all boils down to this: In an age where people are already bringing a house, children, money, and success to the table of love, does this compromise the need for marriage? I mean really, what’s wrong with shacking up! Isn’t it possible to have a good healthy relationship without marriage?
Or, is it a social faux pas for couples to introduce themselves as “boyfriend and girlfriend” even after being together for years?
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Sunday, May 24, 2009
The Real Mr. Right
Every now and then I’ll get a request to write on a topic that seems to be heavy on some of my readers mind. More recently a few of them were going through men issues and, finally, one of them posed this question: Why is it so hard to find a good man?
I know. This is so typical for a girl-related blog, but let’s be real - it’s definitely a question on many of our minds. Now I have my own theory on this but would love to hear your feedback.
My theory you ask? Well, I strongly believe that a good man is not hard to find at all. He’s usually standing right next to a good woman. What I’m saying is often times, both men and women will accept and overlook not so great qualities in other people because we ourselves have certain issues that we have yet to address. In other words, who and what we are will determine the type of person we decide to welcome into our lives. In addition, it will also decide how we will allow that person to impact and influence our lives.
Now we all know that there is no such thing as perfect, but we also know we accept things that we have no business accepting. For example, the guy that has a good personality, handsome, and educated, but lacks that perfect credit, may be someone to consider keeping around for a while. After all, credit scores can be repaired. However, that guy who has a nice personality, handsome, and a baby mom that for some reason believes they are still together, which was apparent when she called your phone and asked you why you were calling her boyfriend, may not be the one to keep around. However, for some reason we believe we can repair him as if he was a credit score, and before we know it, two years and two new babies by the baby mom later we are wondering why it’s so hard to find a good man.
I’m just sayin’. It’s not like this has ever happened to me.
At any rate, it was something within ourselves that made us accept that, and it’s that something that I’m suggesting we address in order to make room for Mr. Right.
Is that to say that once you address and resolve those issues then Mr. Right will come floating across the room like Gina did on that episode of Martin (LOL, remember that episode when Martin and Gina was describing when they met - “Can you dig it baby” HAHAHAHAHA *eh hem* ).
No, it’s not to say that at all. However, you will be able to confidently decide that there are some things you will just not accept. You will be able to see that Mr. Potential Right is indeed Mr. Wrong and get him out of there to make room for the real Mr. Right.
But that’s just what little ole me thinks…
I know. This is so typical for a girl-related blog, but let’s be real - it’s definitely a question on many of our minds. Now I have my own theory on this but would love to hear your feedback.
My theory you ask? Well, I strongly believe that a good man is not hard to find at all. He’s usually standing right next to a good woman. What I’m saying is often times, both men and women will accept and overlook not so great qualities in other people because we ourselves have certain issues that we have yet to address. In other words, who and what we are will determine the type of person we decide to welcome into our lives. In addition, it will also decide how we will allow that person to impact and influence our lives.
Now we all know that there is no such thing as perfect, but we also know we accept things that we have no business accepting. For example, the guy that has a good personality, handsome, and educated, but lacks that perfect credit, may be someone to consider keeping around for a while. After all, credit scores can be repaired. However, that guy who has a nice personality, handsome, and a baby mom that for some reason believes they are still together, which was apparent when she called your phone and asked you why you were calling her boyfriend, may not be the one to keep around. However, for some reason we believe we can repair him as if he was a credit score, and before we know it, two years and two new babies by the baby mom later we are wondering why it’s so hard to find a good man.
I’m just sayin’. It’s not like this has ever happened to me.
At any rate, it was something within ourselves that made us accept that, and it’s that something that I’m suggesting we address in order to make room for Mr. Right.
Is that to say that once you address and resolve those issues then Mr. Right will come floating across the room like Gina did on that episode of Martin (LOL, remember that episode when Martin and Gina was describing when they met - “Can you dig it baby” HAHAHAHAHA *eh hem* ).
No, it’s not to say that at all. However, you will be able to confidently decide that there are some things you will just not accept. You will be able to see that Mr. Potential Right is indeed Mr. Wrong and get him out of there to make room for the real Mr. Right.
But that’s just what little ole me thinks…
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
She Gave Me the Keys...and then took them back because I was talking about her shoes!
I just read the most amusing blog on the She Gave Me the Keys Blogspot. For those of you who don’t know, Mr. Keys went on a rampage a few years ago about girls and flip-flops. His most recent one expressed not only his utter dislike for Uggs, but his appreciation for female wagon riders because it is because of you that he can easily see his compliment.
I know…the nerve! I have to admit, it was a good blog, and I think his overall message of individuality was a good one. I especially enjoyed the pictures of, I believe, Malinda Williams…
Side Bar: Malinda did look fly ladies. If you get a chance go to the blog and check out the blue bag she’s carrying…BANGIN’!
…who, it appears, he is comparing us to. We never get sick and tired of that, do we girls???!!! Being compared to celebrities, models, and yes even the video ho**, I’m sorry, I mean video vixens. Howeverrrr, using our choice of shoes as a reflection of our overall character, well…”GASP!”
Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy a sexy pair of shoes just as much, if not more, than the next gal. The excitement of finding that perfect three to four incher with just the right amount of girly, girl, sex appeal, and on sale, puts me on a high that no drug in this world can match!!! However, you know what excites me more – A man that recognized a woman on her hustle. Would I love to wear those perfect sexy, shoes that I found on sale all of the time? Of course. Unfortunately my daily grind just won’t allow it. There’s no time for sexy-walking…
Side Bar: I’m going to have to change that. There is always time for sexy-walking.
There is not time for sexy-shoe-wearing-it when you are rushing to the gym seven in the morning to try and get an hour workout in before your work day start. There is not time for sexy-shoe-wearing-it when you have an hour during your lunch break to run to the bank and/or the post office and/or the pharmacy and/or the market and/or the art supply store to pick the supplies for your kids project that’s due tomorrow that he conveniently told you about the night before but it’s really not all his fault because you read about it three weeks ago but just forgot to put in on you “To Do” list.
There’s no time for sexy-shoe-wearing-it to the event you have to be at in 15 minutes because the meeting that was supposed to be over at six didn’t end until 6:30 and that 45 minute travel time you factored in is now cut down to 15 minutes. Do you sexy-shoe-wear-it once you get to the event? YES!!! However, there is no time for sexy-shoe-wearing it back to your car that you parked two miles away because it was free and it cost $25 to park in town. Not to mention you just spent the last hour or so on your feet socializing and networking trying to build your clientele and/or get the word out about your business or the organization you work for so the idea of sexy-shoe-wearing-it to your car is out the question. Sure you can cab it, but then Mr. Keys will be blogging about you needing to lose weight and posting pictures of Rosie O’donnell, Monique, and Jabba the Hut on his blog page, so you are going to walk that two miles.
After repeating that routine throughout the week, you don’t feel like sexy-shoe-wearing it on the weekend. You feel like those flip flops, those Uggs, and in my case, those rain boots—YEAH I SAID IT...RAIN BOOTS, AND NO IT’S NOT RAINING! Do we still take advantage of the places where we can sexy-shoe-wear-it? YES! Do we take advantage of those places that don’t require sexy-shoe-wearing-it? YES!
“You are one beautiful woman!”
Nope, that’s not from a trendy song – just from a man that understands a woman is not defined by the clothes or the shoes she wears, but by her strong spirit, her dazzling personality, the depth of her knowledge, and her persistence and desire to some way, some how, make her mark.
So in return I’d like to thank Mr. Keys. No, not for making sure I see that blue bag that Malinda is carrying so I can try to find something similar. No, not for helping me realize that my rain boots are cool after all. I’d like to thank Mr. Keys for the book recommendation. Blink: The Power of Thinking without Thinking. I’m going to have to get that!
I know…the nerve! I have to admit, it was a good blog, and I think his overall message of individuality was a good one. I especially enjoyed the pictures of, I believe, Malinda Williams…
Side Bar: Malinda did look fly ladies. If you get a chance go to the blog and check out the blue bag she’s carrying…BANGIN’!
…who, it appears, he is comparing us to. We never get sick and tired of that, do we girls???!!! Being compared to celebrities, models, and yes even the video ho**, I’m sorry, I mean video vixens. Howeverrrr, using our choice of shoes as a reflection of our overall character, well…”GASP!”
Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy a sexy pair of shoes just as much, if not more, than the next gal. The excitement of finding that perfect three to four incher with just the right amount of girly, girl, sex appeal, and on sale, puts me on a high that no drug in this world can match!!! However, you know what excites me more – A man that recognized a woman on her hustle. Would I love to wear those perfect sexy, shoes that I found on sale all of the time? Of course. Unfortunately my daily grind just won’t allow it. There’s no time for sexy-walking…
Side Bar: I’m going to have to change that. There is always time for sexy-walking.
There is not time for sexy-shoe-wearing-it when you are rushing to the gym seven in the morning to try and get an hour workout in before your work day start. There is not time for sexy-shoe-wearing-it when you have an hour during your lunch break to run to the bank and/or the post office and/or the pharmacy and/or the market and/or the art supply store to pick the supplies for your kids project that’s due tomorrow that he conveniently told you about the night before but it’s really not all his fault because you read about it three weeks ago but just forgot to put in on you “To Do” list.
There’s no time for sexy-shoe-wearing-it to the event you have to be at in 15 minutes because the meeting that was supposed to be over at six didn’t end until 6:30 and that 45 minute travel time you factored in is now cut down to 15 minutes. Do you sexy-shoe-wear-it once you get to the event? YES!!! However, there is no time for sexy-shoe-wearing it back to your car that you parked two miles away because it was free and it cost $25 to park in town. Not to mention you just spent the last hour or so on your feet socializing and networking trying to build your clientele and/or get the word out about your business or the organization you work for so the idea of sexy-shoe-wearing-it to your car is out the question. Sure you can cab it, but then Mr. Keys will be blogging about you needing to lose weight and posting pictures of Rosie O’donnell, Monique, and Jabba the Hut on his blog page, so you are going to walk that two miles.
After repeating that routine throughout the week, you don’t feel like sexy-shoe-wearing it on the weekend. You feel like those flip flops, those Uggs, and in my case, those rain boots—YEAH I SAID IT...RAIN BOOTS, AND NO IT’S NOT RAINING! Do we still take advantage of the places where we can sexy-shoe-wear-it? YES! Do we take advantage of those places that don’t require sexy-shoe-wearing-it? YES!
“You are one beautiful woman!”
Nope, that’s not from a trendy song – just from a man that understands a woman is not defined by the clothes or the shoes she wears, but by her strong spirit, her dazzling personality, the depth of her knowledge, and her persistence and desire to some way, some how, make her mark.
So in return I’d like to thank Mr. Keys. No, not for making sure I see that blue bag that Malinda is carrying so I can try to find something similar. No, not for helping me realize that my rain boots are cool after all. I’d like to thank Mr. Keys for the book recommendation. Blink: The Power of Thinking without Thinking. I’m going to have to get that!
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