Monday, October 20, 2008

It's Not That Bad

Let me begin by apologizing for my absence. However, I have been extremely busy and it’s hard to find time for your hobbies when you are trying to juggle work, family, friends, and of course, dating. So, in order for me to continue writing I have to eliminate a few things. With that said, I am pleased to announce that I’ve quit my job and will only stay in contact with the family and friends who have lent me money over the past year (how else will the bills get paid, it’s not like I have a job! And I know you didn’t think I was giving up dating – how else is a girl supposed to eat!) HAHAHAHAHA—JUST KIDDING! The kids don’t need help with their homework, I spoke to my mom yesterday, I never bring work home, and uhhhh yeah I’m pretty dateless tonight.

This does bring up a very good discussion topic that many of us single girls can relate to. With so much to juggle in life, is being a jump-off so bad (HA bet you didn’t see that one coming!)? Hold on, hold on---let me explain, or better yet, let me set the stage. You’ve got a busy Saturday ahead of you. You have errands to run in the morning, a girls luncheon in the afternoon, and your latest guy’s birthday celebration at night. Unfortunately for you, you’re a hot ass and experimenting with the newbie is just not going to get it. You’ll have about 4 hours to spare between the luncheon and the birthday celebration AND you’ll be in an old fling’s neighborhood who you know can get the job done. Do you:

A. Jump off with the old fling
B. Jump in with the new fling
C. Jump off with yourself
D. Get your hot ass in a cold shower (does that really work?)

If I had to choose, (and this would be purely hypothetical because I am not that type of girl – I mean if this were for real I would clearly choose C), but I would pick A. I’m just saying—ok, so there’s like a .00000001 % chance that he’s calling you the next day (or the next month for that matter) but he got the job done, is there really a reason to hear from the guy again? There’s a reason he’s an old fling, and lucky for you it’s not because he couldn’t perform in the bedroom.

There are other situations where being a jump-off would be beneficial. I can give the PTA-meeting scenario, the lunch-break scenario, the “I’m-cooking-dinner-right-now-but-if-you-could-meet-me-out-front-in-10-minutes-that-would-be-great” scenario. There are plenty of scenarios – hypothetically speaking of course.

At any rate, for some people other things may take priority, which leaves little time for starting a serious relationship. In such a situation, is playing a jump-off role so bad?

6 comments:

Heavnonerth said...

Alright, first let me say I am glad no one but you knows who I am. So I can be completely honest. Here it goes: C would have been early that morning. Move on to my jump off which is A and then a perfect ending to my great day with B.(LOL) But hey that's just me. Shhh! Don't tell nobody.(as pops would say) And I don't want a call the next day. I see you when I see you. Playing the jump off role is good as long as it is your choice. Don't be the jump off girl simply because you want a relationship and he doesn't. You figure that is your only way to hold on. Won't work. As long as we put ourselves first and do what we want to do, when we want to do it all will be well.

Hey Girlfriend! said...

LOL!!!! Why didn't I think about incorporating all options!!! I mean, hypothetically of course. And I agree, the worse thing is thinking its serious when you're really a jump-off--talk about getting your signals crossed!!!!

Anonymous said...

Are you people (read Blake's high school and college friends) even pretend serious? You must be writing from a pretend vantage point. Knowing a little bit about her, I can't imagine she'd be keeping the company of SUPER-freaks! Check that: you gotta be like Janet Jacme to really say you'd incorporate all options. Stop it...and quit, before your husband starts asking questions about what really happened on that ski trip, and you know you can't lie anymore. Anyway, A, is the only acceptable answer for you young ladies. I mean, you are smart enough to know you can't very well go taking chances with the new cat. For all you know, he has a 4 inch dick and that is about as inappropriate as those little white kids who curse their moms out and punch them. Getting yourself off is just wack. You have to do what you have to do sometimes, but, judging from the chicas I know, it just doesn't quite hit the spot. There's something about a real penis being inside of a woman that trumps the bullet, rabbit, rat, or whatever the fuck else you all use to get after your respective clitori (I like that better than clotorises). So, there you have it. A, is the only fucking answer. Be cool and thanks for writing.

Anonymous said...

sorry...I meant clitorises, not clotorises which is actually a disease that makes the clitoris turn purple and fall of :)

Anonymous said...

LOL. Okay, I meant fall off. I, obviously, hate typos. Sorry...I'm going to go feel up a wall now...

Hey Girlfriend! said...

LMFAO...I swear what would the world of blogs be without the insight of you Drew!

You are a mess!!!!