Ok, so I just finished reading a very funny blog about flatulence. That’s right ladies, an entire blog devoted to flatulence etiquette for couples ( I encourage you all to read it http://shegavemethekeys.blogspot.com/2008/12/public-service-announcement.html.) At any rate, it brings up a situation – hypothetical of course- that may help other girls out who may one day find themselves in this situation.
Let’s say, hypothetically speaking of course, that you are away with your guy for more than one night. And let’s just say that you went out to eat at a restaurant, ummm for the sake of the story we’ll use the Melting Pot. And let’s just say that while there, you got it in on the cheese and chocolate fondue. And let’s just say that, for the sake of the story, you are a vegetarian, so along with the cheese and chocolate fondue, you had a bunch of veggies for the entrée. And let’s just say that by the end of the meal, before you made it back to the room, your stomach was pretty ummmm…tore up.
In this hypothetical situation, you know it’s a wrap once you get back to the hotel room. How would you, being a lady and all, handle such a situation?
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Thanks.
In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I feel like it wouldn’t be right if I didn’t post a blog to express my sincere thanks. To my family, especially my sister and brother - one for her ear and shoulder, and the other for being that male figure in our boys' lives (and for other things I can’t say on this blog without possibly incriminating you) – you two really come in handy!! To my girlfriends – I am truly blessed to be surrounded by such a diverse group of females…from TZ and our circle of four, to K. Smalls and our circle of six, to GLAM…you have no idea of the impact you have made on my life and I appreciate you all! To my guyfriends –the only one that get it when I laugh about The Office, the only ones that can truly help me out when I say “what the hell was up w/ dude?”, and the only ones that value the friendship too much to let it become something more. To Ron for getting it. And lastly, to you all for taking the time to read, to reply, to listen, to help, and most importantly, to laugh.
Thanks.
Thanks.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
What A Day...
What A Day…
A few weeks ago I interviewed for this position; THE position. The interview went well. It lasted for about one hour and fifteen minutes and at the end the hiring supervisor said she was impressed and that my resume was very impressive. For two weeks I waited to hear something and then on Tuesday I got an email; THE email. As I read it my heart dropped to my stomach, bounced up to my throat and kind of lodged itself there for about 10 minutes. I didn’t get the job.
Now, did I mention that I really, really, REALLY wanted this job? So, to say I was disappointed would be an understatement. I sat there looking at the email, and re-reading it hoping that if would eventually say something different, but it didn’t. I was devastated. This was a very hard blow to my career aspirations. I felt defeated and I wasn’t quite sure if I would be able to recover so easily from this setback.
Some how I managed to looked at the clock and saw that it was almost time for my yoga class. Although I didn’t feel much like yoga, I decided that it was better than sitting there reading that email.
I don’t even remember taking the elevators to the gym, changing my clothes, grabbing my yoga mat, and setting up for class. I just remember sitting there to myself, quiet, and not talking. Now for those of you that know me knows that if I’m not talking than it’s a problem! This day I didn’t feel like talking. I just wanted the class to start and be over.
I half-assed yoga class because I didn’t really feel like striving for much. So when she encouraged us to raise our leg while in bridge, I merely stayed in bridge. The only thing I put my all into was the corpse pose. Man, did I lay there!!!!
At the end of class while we were in a comfortable seated position with our eyes close and hands to our hearts, my yoga teacher decided to read a poem by Langston Hughes entitled Dreams. As she read the poem the lump in my throat came back. After reading the poem she encouraged the class to always hold true to their dreams. With eyes still closed I bowed and “Namasted”, and with that bow the tears ran down my cheeks. With those tears I released the disappointing news that I had received earlier, the disappointment that I had with myself, and made room for something better.
I got to my desk and saw a new email. I was hoping that it was a retraction to the one previously sent, but it was from one the the VP's stating that because I did so well on a recent corporate campaign that I got an extra day off - I'll talke it! With that I forwarded the email to my supervisor letting her know that I was taking Friday off. A perfect start to my weekend getaway with Ron! Stay tuned...
Dreams
Hold fast to dreams
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly
Hold fast to dreams
For when dreams go
Life is a barren field
Frozen with snow
A few weeks ago I interviewed for this position; THE position. The interview went well. It lasted for about one hour and fifteen minutes and at the end the hiring supervisor said she was impressed and that my resume was very impressive. For two weeks I waited to hear something and then on Tuesday I got an email; THE email. As I read it my heart dropped to my stomach, bounced up to my throat and kind of lodged itself there for about 10 minutes. I didn’t get the job.
Now, did I mention that I really, really, REALLY wanted this job? So, to say I was disappointed would be an understatement. I sat there looking at the email, and re-reading it hoping that if would eventually say something different, but it didn’t. I was devastated. This was a very hard blow to my career aspirations. I felt defeated and I wasn’t quite sure if I would be able to recover so easily from this setback.
Some how I managed to looked at the clock and saw that it was almost time for my yoga class. Although I didn’t feel much like yoga, I decided that it was better than sitting there reading that email.
I don’t even remember taking the elevators to the gym, changing my clothes, grabbing my yoga mat, and setting up for class. I just remember sitting there to myself, quiet, and not talking. Now for those of you that know me knows that if I’m not talking than it’s a problem! This day I didn’t feel like talking. I just wanted the class to start and be over.
I half-assed yoga class because I didn’t really feel like striving for much. So when she encouraged us to raise our leg while in bridge, I merely stayed in bridge. The only thing I put my all into was the corpse pose. Man, did I lay there!!!!
At the end of class while we were in a comfortable seated position with our eyes close and hands to our hearts, my yoga teacher decided to read a poem by Langston Hughes entitled Dreams. As she read the poem the lump in my throat came back. After reading the poem she encouraged the class to always hold true to their dreams. With eyes still closed I bowed and “Namasted”, and with that bow the tears ran down my cheeks. With those tears I released the disappointing news that I had received earlier, the disappointment that I had with myself, and made room for something better.
I got to my desk and saw a new email. I was hoping that it was a retraction to the one previously sent, but it was from one the the VP's stating that because I did so well on a recent corporate campaign that I got an extra day off - I'll talke it! With that I forwarded the email to my supervisor letting her know that I was taking Friday off. A perfect start to my weekend getaway with Ron! Stay tuned...
Dreams
Hold fast to dreams
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly
Hold fast to dreams
For when dreams go
Life is a barren field
Frozen with snow
Monday, October 20, 2008
It's Not That Bad
Let me begin by apologizing for my absence. However, I have been extremely busy and it’s hard to find time for your hobbies when you are trying to juggle work, family, friends, and of course, dating. So, in order for me to continue writing I have to eliminate a few things. With that said, I am pleased to announce that I’ve quit my job and will only stay in contact with the family and friends who have lent me money over the past year (how else will the bills get paid, it’s not like I have a job! And I know you didn’t think I was giving up dating – how else is a girl supposed to eat!) HAHAHAHAHA—JUST KIDDING! The kids don’t need help with their homework, I spoke to my mom yesterday, I never bring work home, and uhhhh yeah I’m pretty dateless tonight.
This does bring up a very good discussion topic that many of us single girls can relate to. With so much to juggle in life, is being a jump-off so bad (HA bet you didn’t see that one coming!)? Hold on, hold on---let me explain, or better yet, let me set the stage. You’ve got a busy Saturday ahead of you. You have errands to run in the morning, a girls luncheon in the afternoon, and your latest guy’s birthday celebration at night. Unfortunately for you, you’re a hot ass and experimenting with the newbie is just not going to get it. You’ll have about 4 hours to spare between the luncheon and the birthday celebration AND you’ll be in an old fling’s neighborhood who you know can get the job done. Do you:
A. Jump off with the old fling
B. Jump in with the new fling
C. Jump off with yourself
D. Get your hot ass in a cold shower (does that really work?)
If I had to choose, (and this would be purely hypothetical because I am not that type of girl – I mean if this were for real I would clearly choose C), but I would pick A. I’m just saying—ok, so there’s like a .00000001 % chance that he’s calling you the next day (or the next month for that matter) but he got the job done, is there really a reason to hear from the guy again? There’s a reason he’s an old fling, and lucky for you it’s not because he couldn’t perform in the bedroom.
There are other situations where being a jump-off would be beneficial. I can give the PTA-meeting scenario, the lunch-break scenario, the “I’m-cooking-dinner-right-now-but-if-you-could-meet-me-out-front-in-10-minutes-that-would-be-great” scenario. There are plenty of scenarios – hypothetically speaking of course.
At any rate, for some people other things may take priority, which leaves little time for starting a serious relationship. In such a situation, is playing a jump-off role so bad?
This does bring up a very good discussion topic that many of us single girls can relate to. With so much to juggle in life, is being a jump-off so bad (HA bet you didn’t see that one coming!)? Hold on, hold on---let me explain, or better yet, let me set the stage. You’ve got a busy Saturday ahead of you. You have errands to run in the morning, a girls luncheon in the afternoon, and your latest guy’s birthday celebration at night. Unfortunately for you, you’re a hot ass and experimenting with the newbie is just not going to get it. You’ll have about 4 hours to spare between the luncheon and the birthday celebration AND you’ll be in an old fling’s neighborhood who you know can get the job done. Do you:
A. Jump off with the old fling
B. Jump in with the new fling
C. Jump off with yourself
D. Get your hot ass in a cold shower (does that really work?)
If I had to choose, (and this would be purely hypothetical because I am not that type of girl – I mean if this were for real I would clearly choose C), but I would pick A. I’m just saying—ok, so there’s like a .00000001 % chance that he’s calling you the next day (or the next month for that matter) but he got the job done, is there really a reason to hear from the guy again? There’s a reason he’s an old fling, and lucky for you it’s not because he couldn’t perform in the bedroom.
There are other situations where being a jump-off would be beneficial. I can give the PTA-meeting scenario, the lunch-break scenario, the “I’m-cooking-dinner-right-now-but-if-you-could-meet-me-out-front-in-10-minutes-that-would-be-great” scenario. There are plenty of scenarios – hypothetically speaking of course.
At any rate, for some people other things may take priority, which leaves little time for starting a serious relationship. In such a situation, is playing a jump-off role so bad?
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Bite of Chocolate - Part II
You know how something is bad for you but you have to have it. Take chocolate for instance. You know you should only have one bite, just one small bite, and you take the bite and it's so good that you take another bite, and another. Before you know it, you’re sitting in your car debating, yet again, whether you should give him a call.
So I’ve been pretty busy and haven’t really had the chance to meet up with Chocolate Junior (CJ), but like I said before, he’s persistent. After a few weeks of playing catch up, me and CJ decided we would get together for breakfast. That ultimately turned into an early lunch. I decided to drive and pick him up for several reasons. So I get to his house and when he comes out I remember my initial attraction. This young boy is a real cutie. He gets in the car and our first official date begins, and I would be lying if I said it wasn’t one of the best I’ve been on in a while. His words are in bold.
Hey
Hey, dag I finally catch up with you!
I’m finally catching up with you.
How you been?
I’m good, how are you?
I’m good
So where do you want to go?
How about Marathon Grill? I think it’s one in Chestnut Hill(Whattttt??? What does he know about Marathon Grill? I’m impressed. That’s one of my favorite spots, so a point for him.)
So there’s casual conversation in the car that’s continuous and fun. Nothing forced and it was good; so good that we past Marathon Grill and he suggested another place…
We can go to Bruno’s. That’s straight up.
I never been but I’m open.
We get to Bruno’s and I’m even more impressed. It’s a cute, small restaurant in Chestnut Hill right up the street from Valley Green (and for family members reading this you know why this was an “awwww” moment). It has some outdoor seating, but we opt for the porch that gives you the outdoor feel without the heat and bees. Nothing fancy. Nothing major. Just cute and simple. It was absolutely the perfect place for a Sunday afternoon early lunch. Now, just so you know it’s the simple things that win me over.
Flashback moment…
The last guy I fell for read my horoscope before I had the chance to ask him if I could borrow the paper to read it myself. Afterwards, he told me to clean my nasty desk. The fact that he took the time to read my horoscope meant something to me.
The guy before that took me to see the moon. Now, I know that sounds corny, but I was actually looking at the moon before he picked me up and was saying to myself how nice it looked. I mean it was beautiful! Once he got there he said “did you see the moon tonight!” He had me.
Back to present…
So we sat, talked, made a bet, I lost ($5), talked, ate, made another bet (I got my $5 back), he told me his birthday was next month (Oct. 28th girlfriend!), but didn’t ask about my birthday (gasp! - lost a point!). He did cute stuff like reach over the table to take a piece of string off my shoulder, asked me if my food was ok, and touched the scratch on my arm and said “what happened?” (you know, sincere, like “aww-what happened”, but no homo) – stuff like that.
We finished eating, he paid, I offered to pay the tip, he said no, I said ok, we left, my car was hot as hell, I rolled down the windows, and we sat outside the ice cream place next door while the car cooled off and talked some more. We got in after it cooled off and left. I dropped him off at a corner store. We sat in the car a few more minutes, talked, made plans to go to Continental after I get off work one day (he went there one time and liked it, another one of my favorites – another point). We hugged, he told me to call him to let him know I got home safe (another point), he gets out the car and that’s when it happened…
Tell me why – WHY – a car pulls up immediately after he got out, he gets in, and you can tell he told the guy driving that he was with me because the guy sits up and looks in my direction, and then they pull off? What the EFF was that???!!!! I don’t even remember seeing him make a phone call to tell someone to meet him! Girlfriends, this young boy is still in the life. Damn, damn, damn!
This is bad, I mean really bad. See at this point, for me, it’s not only chocolate it’s chocolate with a caramel filling. Damn you bad boys with your bad ways, and your dark skin, and your good dates, and your young boy stamina!!!!
What’s a girl to do? I know. I know. Leave it alone! It’s trouble – I know! But guess what? I called him to let him know I got home ok…
So I’ve been pretty busy and haven’t really had the chance to meet up with Chocolate Junior (CJ), but like I said before, he’s persistent. After a few weeks of playing catch up, me and CJ decided we would get together for breakfast. That ultimately turned into an early lunch. I decided to drive and pick him up for several reasons. So I get to his house and when he comes out I remember my initial attraction. This young boy is a real cutie. He gets in the car and our first official date begins, and I would be lying if I said it wasn’t one of the best I’ve been on in a while. His words are in bold.
Hey
Hey, dag I finally catch up with you!
I’m finally catching up with you.
How you been?
I’m good, how are you?
I’m good
So where do you want to go?
How about Marathon Grill? I think it’s one in Chestnut Hill(Whattttt??? What does he know about Marathon Grill? I’m impressed. That’s one of my favorite spots, so a point for him.)
So there’s casual conversation in the car that’s continuous and fun. Nothing forced and it was good; so good that we past Marathon Grill and he suggested another place…
We can go to Bruno’s. That’s straight up.
I never been but I’m open.
We get to Bruno’s and I’m even more impressed. It’s a cute, small restaurant in Chestnut Hill right up the street from Valley Green (and for family members reading this you know why this was an “awwww” moment). It has some outdoor seating, but we opt for the porch that gives you the outdoor feel without the heat and bees. Nothing fancy. Nothing major. Just cute and simple. It was absolutely the perfect place for a Sunday afternoon early lunch. Now, just so you know it’s the simple things that win me over.
Flashback moment…
The last guy I fell for read my horoscope before I had the chance to ask him if I could borrow the paper to read it myself. Afterwards, he told me to clean my nasty desk. The fact that he took the time to read my horoscope meant something to me.
The guy before that took me to see the moon. Now, I know that sounds corny, but I was actually looking at the moon before he picked me up and was saying to myself how nice it looked. I mean it was beautiful! Once he got there he said “did you see the moon tonight!” He had me.
Back to present…
So we sat, talked, made a bet, I lost ($5), talked, ate, made another bet (I got my $5 back), he told me his birthday was next month (Oct. 28th girlfriend!), but didn’t ask about my birthday (gasp! - lost a point!). He did cute stuff like reach over the table to take a piece of string off my shoulder, asked me if my food was ok, and touched the scratch on my arm and said “what happened?” (you know, sincere, like “aww-what happened”, but no homo) – stuff like that.
We finished eating, he paid, I offered to pay the tip, he said no, I said ok, we left, my car was hot as hell, I rolled down the windows, and we sat outside the ice cream place next door while the car cooled off and talked some more. We got in after it cooled off and left. I dropped him off at a corner store. We sat in the car a few more minutes, talked, made plans to go to Continental after I get off work one day (he went there one time and liked it, another one of my favorites – another point). We hugged, he told me to call him to let him know I got home safe (another point), he gets out the car and that’s when it happened…
Tell me why – WHY – a car pulls up immediately after he got out, he gets in, and you can tell he told the guy driving that he was with me because the guy sits up and looks in my direction, and then they pull off? What the EFF was that???!!!! I don’t even remember seeing him make a phone call to tell someone to meet him! Girlfriends, this young boy is still in the life. Damn, damn, damn!
This is bad, I mean really bad. See at this point, for me, it’s not only chocolate it’s chocolate with a caramel filling. Damn you bad boys with your bad ways, and your dark skin, and your good dates, and your young boy stamina!!!!
What’s a girl to do? I know. I know. Leave it alone! It’s trouble – I know! But guess what? I called him to let him know I got home ok…
Saturday, September 13, 2008
It Is What It Is
Wow, I’m flattered, I really am. And I really do like you and enjoy the time we spend.
But a relationship? I don’t know.
Like I said, I do enjoy spending time with you and I like what we have. I just can’t see us holding hands while we walk down that relationship path. Yeah our conversations are good. Hahaha, yeah that’s good too, but that does not make the man or make me want to invest that type of time in you. I’m not being mean, I’m just being honest, like I would expect from you.
Why? Do you really want to know? I can’t see how that will help the situation, but at any rate here goes. But before I start know that I accept that this is you. Disappointment lies with false expectations, not realistic views. These are only things that made me think and things that I’ve found strange. I’m not judging you or your character, or asking you to change.
Only you can make those decisions.
Sometimes when I ask you questions your answers are somewhat vague. It’s like you’ve mastered the art of generalizing to keep your story straight. And remember when you went away that weekend and lost your cell phone on the way. I found it strange that it would still ring even though it wasn’t charged for days.
Oh and speaking of phones.
Remember that call you took in the other room from your boy in jail. I always wondered how prison life was like for a guy with a name like “Sharelle.” Yeah, you invited me to your family cookout and I had a good time, but when we met you said you had 4 sisters, and at the cookout you had nine.
And there were other things.
I never tripped or argued because I didn’t feel the need. You were doing your thing and I was doing me. I did however make not of your anecdote discrepancies, and of other things that would prevent you from being in a serious relationship with me. And I know I’m not perfect and I have some sh*t with me.
But hey, it is what it is.
But a relationship? I don’t know.
Like I said, I do enjoy spending time with you and I like what we have. I just can’t see us holding hands while we walk down that relationship path. Yeah our conversations are good. Hahaha, yeah that’s good too, but that does not make the man or make me want to invest that type of time in you. I’m not being mean, I’m just being honest, like I would expect from you.
Why? Do you really want to know? I can’t see how that will help the situation, but at any rate here goes. But before I start know that I accept that this is you. Disappointment lies with false expectations, not realistic views. These are only things that made me think and things that I’ve found strange. I’m not judging you or your character, or asking you to change.
Only you can make those decisions.
Sometimes when I ask you questions your answers are somewhat vague. It’s like you’ve mastered the art of generalizing to keep your story straight. And remember when you went away that weekend and lost your cell phone on the way. I found it strange that it would still ring even though it wasn’t charged for days.
Oh and speaking of phones.
Remember that call you took in the other room from your boy in jail. I always wondered how prison life was like for a guy with a name like “Sharelle.” Yeah, you invited me to your family cookout and I had a good time, but when we met you said you had 4 sisters, and at the cookout you had nine.
And there were other things.
I never tripped or argued because I didn’t feel the need. You were doing your thing and I was doing me. I did however make not of your anecdote discrepancies, and of other things that would prevent you from being in a serious relationship with me. And I know I’m not perfect and I have some sh*t with me.
But hey, it is what it is.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
OMG! - What Is That Smell?
Ok ladies. I’m about to go there. That place that we dare not go. That place that no one ever venture’s. Some things just deserve to be left alone. Some topics are just taboo. But I can no longer remain silent and I’m going in…
Ladies, what is the deal with our vaginas!
I’m just saying. It’s always something with that thing! Don’t front, you know what I’m talking about! I mean you may have, what, a good four days out the entire month where everything is running smooth with Miss Thang! Other than that, either you are experiencing symptoms because you are about to get your visit from aunt flow, aunt flow is visiting, or you are experiencing symptoms because aunt flow has left.
And don’t get me started on the ever-popular bacteria infection. Stop fronting!!! You know what I’m talking about. I decided during one of my trips to my GYN that I was fed up. I decided that my GYN was going to tell me what I need to do to stop these shenanigans once and for all. Here’s what her stank ass said…
• Try not to stress (I think this was the easiest of them all)
• Always wear panties with the white strip (no more Victoria Secret for me)
• Try to eat the right foods and stay away from unhealthy food (does that include organic cookies?)
• Avoid wearing clothes that are too tight (they make clothes that are not tight? Who knew?)
• Stay away from perfume or fragrance soaps (Ok, she is totally missing the point of using soap.)
• Always wear protection when having sex (by sex you mean….????)
• Avoid douching (I was just trying to do him a favor)
• Blah Blah Blah
What the EFFFFF!!!!! She knows half the stuff on that list is impossible. I mean come on – ALWAYS use protection?
And during those good days when things are running smoothly, have you ever explored Miss Thang. I mean, really explored. With a mirror and all. If not, you should. It’s the only way you’ll stop faking those orgasms. At any rate, is it just me? I mean, have you ever smelled your fingers afterwards? ILL!!!! That “essence,” as my GYN likes to call it, doesn’t exactly smell like that Bath and Body shower gel that you shouldn’t use. STOP FRONTIN’! YALL KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT.
Now look, I understand that things are a bit more complicated for us because our stuff is inside. But is it too much to ask for a month – ONE MONTH – where nothing is coming out of Miss Thang (well—almost nothing! See, that's why I have bacteria infections now!).
Is it too much to ask for one month free of maxi pads and panty liners without having to go to CVS for a home pregnancy test. Is it too much to ask for one month free of “guess that smell.” One month to use any soap I want. One month to wear all the Victoria Secret panties I want, in all the colors that I want. Just one month. Is that too much to ask?
Ladies, what is the deal with our vaginas!
I’m just saying. It’s always something with that thing! Don’t front, you know what I’m talking about! I mean you may have, what, a good four days out the entire month where everything is running smooth with Miss Thang! Other than that, either you are experiencing symptoms because you are about to get your visit from aunt flow, aunt flow is visiting, or you are experiencing symptoms because aunt flow has left.
And don’t get me started on the ever-popular bacteria infection. Stop fronting!!! You know what I’m talking about. I decided during one of my trips to my GYN that I was fed up. I decided that my GYN was going to tell me what I need to do to stop these shenanigans once and for all. Here’s what her stank ass said…
• Try not to stress (I think this was the easiest of them all)
• Always wear panties with the white strip (no more Victoria Secret for me)
• Try to eat the right foods and stay away from unhealthy food (does that include organic cookies?)
• Avoid wearing clothes that are too tight (they make clothes that are not tight? Who knew?)
• Stay away from perfume or fragrance soaps (Ok, she is totally missing the point of using soap.)
• Always wear protection when having sex (by sex you mean….????)
• Avoid douching (I was just trying to do him a favor)
• Blah Blah Blah
What the EFFFFF!!!!! She knows half the stuff on that list is impossible. I mean come on – ALWAYS use protection?
And during those good days when things are running smoothly, have you ever explored Miss Thang. I mean, really explored. With a mirror and all. If not, you should. It’s the only way you’ll stop faking those orgasms. At any rate, is it just me? I mean, have you ever smelled your fingers afterwards? ILL!!!! That “essence,” as my GYN likes to call it, doesn’t exactly smell like that Bath and Body shower gel that you shouldn’t use. STOP FRONTIN’! YALL KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT.
Now look, I understand that things are a bit more complicated for us because our stuff is inside. But is it too much to ask for a month – ONE MONTH – where nothing is coming out of Miss Thang (well—almost nothing! See, that's why I have bacteria infections now!).
Is it too much to ask for one month free of maxi pads and panty liners without having to go to CVS for a home pregnancy test. Is it too much to ask for one month free of “guess that smell.” One month to use any soap I want. One month to wear all the Victoria Secret panties I want, in all the colors that I want. Just one month. Is that too much to ask?
Monday, September 1, 2008
With Life Comes Life
This morning I was listening to The Best of Steve Harvey, and they were discussing “quit” moments. These were powerful and motivating stories where they described a moment where they were at the brink of quitting and giving up on their dreams. Although this is so cliché, it truly reminded me how important it is to never give.
This thing called life is truly a scary, yet motivating experience. We all have aspired to be something amazing. Whether it was as a child, as a teenager, or as an adult, at some point in our lives we dream and dream big. However, the harsh reality is that with life comes life. With the good, there’s the bad, and often the bad is so overwhelming and so much more realistic than the good, that we believe that’s all it’s ever going to be. Our faith is compromised, our beliefs are tainted, and our dreams are just that – a dream that continues to live in our minds and as we sleep, but never become a part of our lives.
As women we often make other things and people a priority, which makes it that much easier to give up on our own aspirations and dreams. That’s who we are. We are nurturing individuals and we’ll give 200% to someone else if we had to, and all the while not even investing 2% in ourselves.
We have all experienced that quit moment, and some of us, including myself, have surrendered to that moment. We believe that it’s just too hard, or just too much for us to handle. That it’s so much easier to give in – to give up. Or is it?
Girlfriends! giving up is probably harder than succeeding. When you give up, it’s admitting to yourself that you are not capable of doing something, and that in itself weighs heavy on your mind and spirit. It doesn’t help when you come from an environment where everyone around you has given up. Again you began to believe that this is the true reality. That giving up and being less than what you are capable of being is all that there is. But with life comes life. With the bad, there is also the good. Realizing your true potential and working your way through to seeing your dream become a reality is one of the most rewarding parts of life. Yes their will be boulders, broken bridges, and brick walls in your path, but always continue to move forward and never stop trying to turn your dream into a reality. Take a break, step back, but never give up.
Here are a few songs under my iTune “Inspiration” folder that always help me when I’m feeling a little defeated. Hope they can do the same for my Girlfriends!
This thing called life is truly a scary, yet motivating experience. We all have aspired to be something amazing. Whether it was as a child, as a teenager, or as an adult, at some point in our lives we dream and dream big. However, the harsh reality is that with life comes life. With the good, there’s the bad, and often the bad is so overwhelming and so much more realistic than the good, that we believe that’s all it’s ever going to be. Our faith is compromised, our beliefs are tainted, and our dreams are just that – a dream that continues to live in our minds and as we sleep, but never become a part of our lives.
As women we often make other things and people a priority, which makes it that much easier to give up on our own aspirations and dreams. That’s who we are. We are nurturing individuals and we’ll give 200% to someone else if we had to, and all the while not even investing 2% in ourselves.
We have all experienced that quit moment, and some of us, including myself, have surrendered to that moment. We believe that it’s just too hard, or just too much for us to handle. That it’s so much easier to give in – to give up. Or is it?
Girlfriends! giving up is probably harder than succeeding. When you give up, it’s admitting to yourself that you are not capable of doing something, and that in itself weighs heavy on your mind and spirit. It doesn’t help when you come from an environment where everyone around you has given up. Again you began to believe that this is the true reality. That giving up and being less than what you are capable of being is all that there is. But with life comes life. With the bad, there is also the good. Realizing your true potential and working your way through to seeing your dream become a reality is one of the most rewarding parts of life. Yes their will be boulders, broken bridges, and brick walls in your path, but always continue to move forward and never stop trying to turn your dream into a reality. Take a break, step back, but never give up.
Here are a few songs under my iTune “Inspiration” folder that always help me when I’m feeling a little defeated. Hope they can do the same for my Girlfriends!
Friday, August 29, 2008
I'm Having a Moment...
Tonight I’m feeling kind of melancholy, not sad, just ehhhhh. Like I need a girl moment; a me moment. No phones, no computers, no boys, no girlfriends, no boyfriends, no facebook, no myspace, no email, just me. Maybe my TV. Yeah, I’ll take the TV and the DVD…and some rain. You can’t have a melancholy moment without rain. Maybe I’ll watch Love Jones, Brown Sugar, Sex in the City, and The Breakfast Club. Ok, maybe not The Breakfast Club—no, leave The Breakfast Club – it’s my moment.
Maybe it’s PMS, maybe not. Maybe I need to clean up, I don’t know. But something needs releasing. No, it’s not that…something else. Like an emotion of some sort. Maybe tears, maybe not. Maybe anger. Don’t know. Not laughter, definitely not laughter. I’m always laughing and don’t feel like it right now. Just something. Maybe I just need to go to sleep…
Nope, not sleep…it was tears. Definitely tears. I’ll ride out with this for the rest of the night...
Maybe it’s PMS, maybe not. Maybe I need to clean up, I don’t know. But something needs releasing. No, it’s not that…something else. Like an emotion of some sort. Maybe tears, maybe not. Maybe anger. Don’t know. Not laughter, definitely not laughter. I’m always laughing and don’t feel like it right now. Just something. Maybe I just need to go to sleep…
Nope, not sleep…it was tears. Definitely tears. I’ll ride out with this for the rest of the night...
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
A Little Bite of Chocolate Never Hurt Anybody
As some of you may know, I have always, for some unknown reason, attracted younger men. I have also, for more obvious reasons, enjoyed the “company” of those young men. However, once I turned 30 I was officially grown. I told myself that if I’m ever going to settle down in more serious relationships then I have to make serious decisions about the guys I date. A week after I turned 30, I created the Age Rule, which was not to date any man that was more than 2 years younger than myself. Two weeks later I broke the Age Rule. Four weeks after that, the Age Rule was back and in full effect. As time progressed I realized that, like my diet, the Age Rule would be a lot harder to stick with. And today I had a nice piece of chocolate staring me in the face. I told myself that a little bite wouldn’t hurt. Would it?
The Scene – I was walking through a parking lot to my car and he was walking towards me. My first attraction was the deep brown skin. It was like his normal complexion was brown but he’s been spending a lot of time in sun. The second attraction was his swagger. It was a cross between a basketball player and a dope boy (yall know how dope boys walk…that I-don’t-give-a-f**k-walk). The third attraction was his clothes. He had on some kind of graphic T-shirt, baggy cargo pants, and Tims. Now, normally I would have been turned off by the Tims, but trust me when I say he was wearing it well. Once we meet up the conversation goes as follows… (His words are bolded)
Hello
Hi
(I say this giving minimum face contact and keep it moving. Must…stick…to….rule.)
Can I talk to you for a minute?
I don’t think so
(He’s persistent. He turns around and follows me.)
I’m saying, you gotta give me a little of your time. What’s your name?
(I stop when I get to my car and turn around.)
Blake
That’s different. I like that. My name is Rick
(He says walking up to me.)
Nice to meet you Rick?
(Ok, this was just standard, I always tell people it’s nice to meet them. I mean there’s no need to be rude!)
You coming from here?
(He’s talking about the restaurant I was coming from.)
Yeah, but it’s closed
Oh it’s closed? Dag, I was hoping we could go in and get something to eat.
Yeah, that’s not going to happen. How old are you?
24
Oh nooooo!
What? How old are you? 24, 25
(He got a point for that!)
30
I’m sayin’. I can’t talk to you because of my age?
Yup
Age shouldn’t mean anything. You live around here?
(He’s being persistent. I must admit. I like.)
No. Where you from?
Mt. Airy
What are you doing around here?
Just came from seeing my P.O.
(OK, I took my point back. And I was right – dope boy swagger and spending a lot of time in the sun)
Oh so you a baby and a trouble maker!
(He blushes, laughs a little, and kind of looks at the ground. I gave him his point back. I can’t help it. I love when guys do that!)
Naw, that was when I was younger
(I laugh.) When was that? Last week? So what are you doing to stay out of trouble?
I just enrolled in school. I start Temple next month.
Oh for real? What’s your major?
I’m just in the School of Liberal Arts now until I find out what I want to do.
(Ok, so he may be telling the truth)
That’s good. Stay out of trouble. But you’re just too young and I have to go.
Can I at least give you my number?
(He says as he leans back on the car. My eyes move down to…well, lets just say I wasn’t looking deep into his eyes. Houston – we have a problem!!!)
Ok, give me your number.
You’re going to break my heart if you don’t call me
Well I can’t break his heart…
So is it so bad to date a guy 3 or 6 times your Jr. Why is it a social faux pas for us girls and not for the guys? Most importantly, should I give Rick a call?
The Scene – I was walking through a parking lot to my car and he was walking towards me. My first attraction was the deep brown skin. It was like his normal complexion was brown but he’s been spending a lot of time in sun. The second attraction was his swagger. It was a cross between a basketball player and a dope boy (yall know how dope boys walk…that I-don’t-give-a-f**k-walk). The third attraction was his clothes. He had on some kind of graphic T-shirt, baggy cargo pants, and Tims. Now, normally I would have been turned off by the Tims, but trust me when I say he was wearing it well. Once we meet up the conversation goes as follows… (His words are bolded)
Hello
Hi
(I say this giving minimum face contact and keep it moving. Must…stick…to….rule.)
Can I talk to you for a minute?
I don’t think so
(He’s persistent. He turns around and follows me.)
I’m saying, you gotta give me a little of your time. What’s your name?
(I stop when I get to my car and turn around.)
Blake
That’s different. I like that. My name is Rick
(He says walking up to me.)
Nice to meet you Rick?
(Ok, this was just standard, I always tell people it’s nice to meet them. I mean there’s no need to be rude!)
You coming from here?
(He’s talking about the restaurant I was coming from.)
Yeah, but it’s closed
Oh it’s closed? Dag, I was hoping we could go in and get something to eat.
Yeah, that’s not going to happen. How old are you?
24
Oh nooooo!
What? How old are you? 24, 25
(He got a point for that!)
30
I’m sayin’. I can’t talk to you because of my age?
Yup
Age shouldn’t mean anything. You live around here?
(He’s being persistent. I must admit. I like.)
No. Where you from?
Mt. Airy
What are you doing around here?
Just came from seeing my P.O.
(OK, I took my point back. And I was right – dope boy swagger and spending a lot of time in the sun)
Oh so you a baby and a trouble maker!
(He blushes, laughs a little, and kind of looks at the ground. I gave him his point back. I can’t help it. I love when guys do that!)
Naw, that was when I was younger
(I laugh.) When was that? Last week? So what are you doing to stay out of trouble?
I just enrolled in school. I start Temple next month.
Oh for real? What’s your major?
I’m just in the School of Liberal Arts now until I find out what I want to do.
(Ok, so he may be telling the truth)
That’s good. Stay out of trouble. But you’re just too young and I have to go.
Can I at least give you my number?
(He says as he leans back on the car. My eyes move down to…well, lets just say I wasn’t looking deep into his eyes. Houston – we have a problem!!!)
Ok, give me your number.
You’re going to break my heart if you don’t call me
Well I can’t break his heart…
So is it so bad to date a guy 3 or 6 times your Jr. Why is it a social faux pas for us girls and not for the guys? Most importantly, should I give Rick a call?
Sunday, August 17, 2008
OK - You Have Gone Too Far!
The other day on my way home from work I was listening to Michael Basin, who was discussing to topic of wives being limited in the bedroom with their husbands. For whatever reason or belief, women were avoiding certain sexual behaviors with their husband because of their belief that is was dirty, not lady-like, or even unholy. It was quite surprising to hear some women refrain from doing things with their husbands that I’ve done…hell I’ve done by myself!
So should there be any limits in the bedroom between married couples? Let’s even take this a step further. Should there be limits in the bedroom with single couples? My personal belief you ask? There are no limits, but that’s just me – Don’t judge me!!!
At any rate, it’ll be interesting to get feedback on this topic from both my married and single friends. What is too far when it comes to sexual relations with our husbands and boyfriends? Do religious beliefs set limits on what we can do in the bedroom with our own husbands? Most importantly, do social norms set the standards on how we should behave when dating? What do you think?
So should there be any limits in the bedroom between married couples? Let’s even take this a step further. Should there be limits in the bedroom with single couples? My personal belief you ask? There are no limits, but that’s just me – Don’t judge me!!!
At any rate, it’ll be interesting to get feedback on this topic from both my married and single friends. What is too far when it comes to sexual relations with our husbands and boyfriends? Do religious beliefs set limits on what we can do in the bedroom with our own husbands? Most importantly, do social norms set the standards on how we should behave when dating? What do you think?
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Having Your Cake and Smashes Too
This weekend, while coming home from a weekend trip to Connecticut, my “date” received a phone call from a friend who apparently got himself in a situation that involved passion marks that didn’t come from his live-in girlfriend. I listened while my “date” gave his friend advice on how to handle his “issue.” Other than realize that our relationship was over before we even returned to Philly, I wondered, what ever happened to open relationships.
*Side bar – Just so you know, I probably could have handled the fact that my “date” seemed to have the “Lying and Cheating Manual” memorized, but during our weekend getaway I also found out that he doesn’t like The Boondocks! I know!!!
I asked my “date” this question and he gave three very good reasons open relationships won’t work (yes, I’m being sarcastic). The first: Every man should have a main girl. Unfortunately, your main girl won’t be everything you need, sexually, but she doesn’t need to know that. The second: Your main girl is the girl that you want to be with. The other girls are just “smashes.” The third: your main girl won’t tolerate you being with other girls (the nerve!) and therefore, you have no choice but to cheat. So to summarize, open relationships are a thing of the past because there are too many smashes out there that smash differently and because your girl is petty and don’t want you smashing the smashes, you cheat. That makes sense (again, I’m being sarcastic and trust me, I was wondering why he was there too!).
So, are open relationships becoming an endangered species, while cheating is the new monogamous? I think it’s a great thing when you can date more than one person at a time and not worried about lying or playing games. Sure we all ultimately want something long-term and stable, but until then, is it so bad to play the field?
Or perhaps, dare I say, it’s because both men and women are driven by the same emotions, which keep them from having an effective open relationship. In most cases, neither men nor women can accept the fact that their guy or girl is someone else’s guy or girl. Although men and women may deal with this emotion differently, they both hate the idea of sharing. So what do you do when you have a classic case of having your cake and wanting ice cream with whip cream too. You cheat. Is this what dating has come to?
*Side bar - YES, I changed the “having your cake and eating it too” saying…it’s a stupid saying. What the hell would you get cake for if you couldn’t eat it! Now “having your cake and wanting ice cream too” works better. The whip cream was just the result of my wondering mind.
*Side bar – Just so you know, I probably could have handled the fact that my “date” seemed to have the “Lying and Cheating Manual” memorized, but during our weekend getaway I also found out that he doesn’t like The Boondocks! I know!!!
I asked my “date” this question and he gave three very good reasons open relationships won’t work (yes, I’m being sarcastic). The first: Every man should have a main girl. Unfortunately, your main girl won’t be everything you need, sexually, but she doesn’t need to know that. The second: Your main girl is the girl that you want to be with. The other girls are just “smashes.” The third: your main girl won’t tolerate you being with other girls (the nerve!) and therefore, you have no choice but to cheat. So to summarize, open relationships are a thing of the past because there are too many smashes out there that smash differently and because your girl is petty and don’t want you smashing the smashes, you cheat. That makes sense (again, I’m being sarcastic and trust me, I was wondering why he was there too!).
So, are open relationships becoming an endangered species, while cheating is the new monogamous? I think it’s a great thing when you can date more than one person at a time and not worried about lying or playing games. Sure we all ultimately want something long-term and stable, but until then, is it so bad to play the field?
Or perhaps, dare I say, it’s because both men and women are driven by the same emotions, which keep them from having an effective open relationship. In most cases, neither men nor women can accept the fact that their guy or girl is someone else’s guy or girl. Although men and women may deal with this emotion differently, they both hate the idea of sharing. So what do you do when you have a classic case of having your cake and wanting ice cream with whip cream too. You cheat. Is this what dating has come to?
*Side bar - YES, I changed the “having your cake and eating it too” saying…it’s a stupid saying. What the hell would you get cake for if you couldn’t eat it! Now “having your cake and wanting ice cream too” works better. The whip cream was just the result of my wondering mind.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Can’t Blame ‘Em for Trying
I’m over him, I am. I made it perfectly clear that there will be no more us. I haven’t called him in almost a year. So please tell me why I come home one morning to hear that nigra’s voice on my answering machine.
So we’ve all been there right? That guy who broke our heart and we thought that it was just the worse thing ever. Then, years go by and you look back and thank God for getting you out of that relationship. Well my guy decided to give me a call not only at home but the nigra calls me at work too. I KNOWWWWW!!!!!!! Here’s how it went down.
“This is Blake”
“What’s up Blake?”
“Hello!!”
“What’s up?”
“Oh…hey, what’s up?”
“How you been?”
“I’m well. How are you?” (See I said well and not good…let him know he missed out on an educated girl-with benefits might I add!)
“Pretty good” (see, he said good…ignorant ass!) “I called you at your house and left a message. Did you get it?”
“No.”
“Well I just said I was thinking about you. I’m always thinking about you.”
(Ok, I can’t lie…I cheesed a little) “Aww, that’s nice. So how are the kids?”
“They’re good”
“Let’s see, when we were together you had two…right?”
“Hahahahaha…yeah.”
“Any since?”
“Nope. How’s your kids?”
“They're great. Still the same two I had before we met.”
“Hahahahaha…you real smart.”
“So…how’s Pamela? I haven’t received any threatening calls from her in a while so I’m guessing things are good.”
“We not together anymore.”
“You broke up???!!! Again???”
“Yup.”
(At this point he’s not getting the picture and it’s lunch time so…) “Well it was good talking to you but I have to meet my boyfriend for lunch in about five minutes. Take care ok!”
“Boyfriend?”
“hahahaha…yeah…talk to you later.”
“Yeah alright.”
Ok…so we all know I don’t have a boyfriend…so what!!! That’s none of his damn business.
My question is do men realize how disrespectful they are when they try this? We all know what he wanted and it wasn’t to tell me that he was thinking about me. Parts of me-yes. Me in general-no. So why do men try? Can we blame them for trying? Should I be mad that he even thought for one second that he could run game on moi. Should I feel disrespected like I’m that dumb. Didn’t he here me say I’m well! He should have stopped there. What do you think?
So we’ve all been there right? That guy who broke our heart and we thought that it was just the worse thing ever. Then, years go by and you look back and thank God for getting you out of that relationship. Well my guy decided to give me a call not only at home but the nigra calls me at work too. I KNOWWWWW!!!!!!! Here’s how it went down.
“This is Blake”
“What’s up Blake?”
“Hello!!”
“What’s up?”
“Oh…hey, what’s up?”
“How you been?”
“I’m well. How are you?” (See I said well and not good…let him know he missed out on an educated girl-with benefits might I add!)
“Pretty good” (see, he said good…ignorant ass!) “I called you at your house and left a message. Did you get it?”
“No.”
“Well I just said I was thinking about you. I’m always thinking about you.”
(Ok, I can’t lie…I cheesed a little) “Aww, that’s nice. So how are the kids?”
“They’re good”
“Let’s see, when we were together you had two…right?”
“Hahahahaha…yeah.”
“Any since?”
“Nope. How’s your kids?”
“They're great. Still the same two I had before we met.”
“Hahahahaha…you real smart.”
“So…how’s Pamela? I haven’t received any threatening calls from her in a while so I’m guessing things are good.”
“We not together anymore.”
“You broke up???!!! Again???”
“Yup.”
(At this point he’s not getting the picture and it’s lunch time so…) “Well it was good talking to you but I have to meet my boyfriend for lunch in about five minutes. Take care ok!”
“Boyfriend?”
“hahahaha…yeah…talk to you later.”
“Yeah alright.”
Ok…so we all know I don’t have a boyfriend…so what!!! That’s none of his damn business.
My question is do men realize how disrespectful they are when they try this? We all know what he wanted and it wasn’t to tell me that he was thinking about me. Parts of me-yes. Me in general-no. So why do men try? Can we blame them for trying? Should I be mad that he even thought for one second that he could run game on moi. Should I feel disrespected like I’m that dumb. Didn’t he here me say I’m well! He should have stopped there. What do you think?
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
The L-M-N-O-P-word
Hey Girlfriends! I’m trying to understand why there is so much controversy behind the use of the N-word, when there are worst images and messages that are socially acceptable and surround us everyday. I thought about this today when I was hearing about Nas’ mix tape entitled The Ni**er Tape. I mean, OK, I get that N-word has racial implications that belittles the Black community, but you don’t need Nas to tell you that, just turn on your radio or look at BET. Everyday songs are played on the radio that demeans the Black community by either promoting a false reality of how men should behave, or showing females in negative roles. Maybe I’m overreacting. Let’s take a moment to analyze some of the songs that are played on heavy rotation at local Hip Hop and R&B radio stations:
The Dream – I Love Your Girl
And she runnin' Fingers through her hair, tryin ta call her over there but she like, F**k! That nigga!She drop it down to the floor, I'm sayin shorty you should go, and she like F**k! That nigga!Call it in B, I want her on me, all up in my head, now she in my bed,I, IIIIII, III
Nothing promotes building strong, positive, Black relationship more than leaving your man in the club for a guy that you just met. Ok, forget this. Let’s look at another song.
Soulja Boy – Donk
She Got Donk,Watch It Hit Da Floor,I Like The Way She Move And Da Way She Snap And Roll, Yea Its Goin Down,I Got 5 Thousands Ones,Me, You, And You (You!),We Bout To Have Fun!, Now Gone Make It Clap,Dat Right Dere,Sippin On Some Dat Match My Shirt, I Like Her, Her, Her, Her, And Her,I Want Dem To Do Dat Over Her!! (Over Her!!!)
??????????????????...Next!
2 Pistols f/ T-Pain – She Got It
Young boss baby i treat cha' treat cha' to the finer thingsNeck bling, wrist bling, wedding ring, nah im playinMight light you neck or wristBut cha got a right nice dicket?,ughTake trips with the ???She got it (she got it) She got it (She Got It) thats what Pain sayinThem other niggas lame man, lil mamma i got the game plan2 pistols, me and you boss i make it happen while they talkRidin 6's while they walk
Well at least it doesn’t have the N- word in it, and hey, how else is a girl supposed to get her neck or wrist lit. Ok, one more.
Plies f/ Neyo – Bust It Baby 2
Like your sex but more love what cha do Turn me on how you stare at me when we through When you give it to me, i don't wanna turn ya loose Scared to moan around you, all i can say is "Ooh" My favorite panties of yours the ones that see-through One wit the pink trim on 'em and they light blue Speakin' for the goons, thank god for makin' you BUST IT BABY is what i call you
The song did say the he likes what she does more than he likes her sex. I mean it continued to talk about the sex, but he was just making a point. He really does like her personality.
So why is this acceptable, and the N-word not acceptable? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not advocating the use of the N-word, but there are images and messages dressed up in hot beats and fancy clothes that creep its way into our community every day. These images cause just as much harm as a racist carrying a burning cross would. Perhaps we should make a fuss over this the same way we make a fuss over the use of the N-word. If in the end we chose to allow this type of culture to remain in our midst, than we are all a bunch of Ni**as living in ignorant bliss, because a Ni**a by another name is still a Ni**a.
The Dream – I Love Your Girl
And she runnin' Fingers through her hair, tryin ta call her over there but she like, F**k! That nigga!She drop it down to the floor, I'm sayin shorty you should go, and she like F**k! That nigga!Call it in B, I want her on me, all up in my head, now she in my bed,I, IIIIII, III
Nothing promotes building strong, positive, Black relationship more than leaving your man in the club for a guy that you just met. Ok, forget this. Let’s look at another song.
Soulja Boy – Donk
She Got Donk,Watch It Hit Da Floor,I Like The Way She Move And Da Way She Snap And Roll, Yea Its Goin Down,I Got 5 Thousands Ones,Me, You, And You (You!),We Bout To Have Fun!, Now Gone Make It Clap,Dat Right Dere,Sippin On Some Dat Match My Shirt, I Like Her, Her, Her, Her, And Her,I Want Dem To Do Dat Over Her!! (Over Her!!!)
??????????????????...Next!
2 Pistols f/ T-Pain – She Got It
Young boss baby i treat cha' treat cha' to the finer thingsNeck bling, wrist bling, wedding ring, nah im playinMight light you neck or wristBut cha got a right nice dicket?,ughTake trips with the ???She got it (she got it) She got it (She Got It) thats what Pain sayinThem other niggas lame man, lil mamma i got the game plan2 pistols, me and you boss i make it happen while they talkRidin 6's while they walk
Well at least it doesn’t have the N- word in it, and hey, how else is a girl supposed to get her neck or wrist lit. Ok, one more.
Plies f/ Neyo – Bust It Baby 2
Like your sex but more love what cha do Turn me on how you stare at me when we through When you give it to me, i don't wanna turn ya loose Scared to moan around you, all i can say is "Ooh" My favorite panties of yours the ones that see-through One wit the pink trim on 'em and they light blue Speakin' for the goons, thank god for makin' you BUST IT BABY is what i call you
The song did say the he likes what she does more than he likes her sex. I mean it continued to talk about the sex, but he was just making a point. He really does like her personality.
So why is this acceptable, and the N-word not acceptable? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not advocating the use of the N-word, but there are images and messages dressed up in hot beats and fancy clothes that creep its way into our community every day. These images cause just as much harm as a racist carrying a burning cross would. Perhaps we should make a fuss over this the same way we make a fuss over the use of the N-word. If in the end we chose to allow this type of culture to remain in our midst, than we are all a bunch of Ni**as living in ignorant bliss, because a Ni**a by another name is still a Ni**a.
Friday, July 11, 2008
Under Attack!
I hate to start off my Blog like this but there is something that I must get off my chest. Girlfriends, we have dealt with many things when it came to our men; from baby momma drama, to watching out for those shady undercover brothers. But we are faced with yet another social manifestation that is affecting our relationships with our men-Porn!....
I know, I know! “What’s wrong with porn” you ask? And up until a few nights ago I would have asked the same question. But porn ruined my relationship ladies! I’m serious! Although the bedrooms escapades were fun it lacked intimacy. Sure “Naughty Girl Friday” was entertaining and exciting, but “Sweet and Sensual Sundays” were anything but! I couldn’t figure it out. How could you be so good in one area, but so lost in another? That’s when it hit me! He had to learn about sex from watching porn! It’s the only logical answer, isn’t it? Think about it. How many porn movies have you seen where the guy is tending to the girl's needs and wants in a caring and compassionate manner? I'll wait…EXACTLY!
And Girlfriends, you know intimacy is of course something that cannot be compromised, so I was forced to end what could have otherwise been a pretty good relationship. OK, so with my track record that equates to about a good four months, but still!!! What if the next guy is infected with the same illness!!!
Can any of my Girlfriends relate? Feedback please!
I know, I know! “What’s wrong with porn” you ask? And up until a few nights ago I would have asked the same question. But porn ruined my relationship ladies! I’m serious! Although the bedrooms escapades were fun it lacked intimacy. Sure “Naughty Girl Friday” was entertaining and exciting, but “Sweet and Sensual Sundays” were anything but! I couldn’t figure it out. How could you be so good in one area, but so lost in another? That’s when it hit me! He had to learn about sex from watching porn! It’s the only logical answer, isn’t it? Think about it. How many porn movies have you seen where the guy is tending to the girl's needs and wants in a caring and compassionate manner? I'll wait…EXACTLY!
And Girlfriends, you know intimacy is of course something that cannot be compromised, so I was forced to end what could have otherwise been a pretty good relationship. OK, so with my track record that equates to about a good four months, but still!!! What if the next guy is infected with the same illness!!!
Can any of my Girlfriends relate? Feedback please!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
